


bring me fear and candy

by Chiropter



Category: Kagerou Project
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-14
Updated: 2015-06-23
Packaged: 2018-01-24 17:44:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1613756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chiropter/pseuds/Chiropter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Collection of Haru/Kono/Kuro/Shin drabbles originally posted on tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> *shamelessly follows ao3 user iDanni's example and posts a drabble collection*
> 
> first one written was in response to the ask: "HaruShin, living together, nsfw please???"

A lot of things about moving in with Haruka had been predictable, which was nice. The state of the house, for one thing; Haruka left paper  _everywhere_ , and where he didn’t, he left paint. Then there was the smell. Gouache and warm cupcakes, somewhat invariably. It didn’t seem to matter what they had in the house.

There was no way, though, that Shintaro could have predicted the huge increase in Haruka’s affection towards him. 

Of course he’d expected things to pick up a little, of course he had. He’d been thinking more, however, of a few extra kisses, maybe some bedtime snuggling, but, to put it bluntly- Haruka’s sex drive was apparently as insatiable as his appetite.

"Jeez, what did you do- ah- before we moved in?" Shintaro grumbled, breath hitching as Haruka trailed his tongue over his Adam’s apple. Haruka only gave an adorable giggle, sitting up for a second to tap his nose.

"That’s none of your business, Shin," he smiled cheerfully, inclining his head, "though, I could  _make_ it your business.”

Shintaro rolled his eyes and was about to reply that in this situation it was almost certainly his business already, but suddenly Haruka’s tongue was pushing past his lips yet again, muffling his words, and all he wanted to do was kiss him back because, damn it, if there was anything he’d let devour him, it was Haruka, just like this, hands wriggling under his shirt to score lines up his back and body pressed so tight, so close against his own that their heartbeats were indistinguishable.  


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> very short response to: "kuroshinharu in which haruka is overprotective of shintaro to the point of being scarier than kuroha"

Kuroha’s kisses are rough, and, when his arms are round Shintaro’s waist, he locks his fingers like bars on a cage. He’s lethal. A monster. Shintaro loves it, of course- Kuroha’s smile is slow-acting poison, a heavy wine. Bitter, yes, but dark and rich. 

Haruka, though, is sweet as honey water. His kisses are soft and firm, his embrace a shroud of fuzzy cardigans, shampoo that smells like lotus flowers. His eyes are creased around the edges as he nuzzles Shintaro’s neck.

"I’m sorry, Shin," he tells him, breath close to his throat, "he’s gone now. I won’t let him hurt you again. I won’t let anyone!"

Shintaro watches him closely as Haruka’s hand moves to twine with his own. 

"Although," Haruka continues, drumming his fingers on Shintaro’s palm, stroking up along his wrist, "you’re the biggest danger, aren’t you?" His smile is sad, but guarded, too. Something in his eyes is oddly distant and when he speaks again his usual, cheerful tone sounds hollow. 

"…I think you should stay here tonight, Shintaro."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "kuroshin AU where shintaro finds an injured snake in the alleyway and he doesnt know what to do and ends up taking it home and when he comes back from school he comes back to kuroha in his room". warning for animal death.

It’s a good job, Shintaro thinks, that he’s spent so much time dicking about on the internet, because if he hadn’t, he thinks he’d snap the snake’s neck.

Okay, so maybe watching animal videos  _isn’t_ the best way to prove to Momo that his internet history is nothing but pure, considering how much time it takes from his evening, but if he’s entirely honest, he just doesn’t  _care_. He can’t help it that kittens are so cute, or puppies so clumsy, and if Tono wants to watch rabbit videos with him, well. Who is he to deny her?

It had only been a couple of nights ago that he’d started looking up snakes, though. Which makes this all the more convenient.

He bends down slowly, so as not to startle the creature, and picks it up in both his hands. It’s hurt badly- with a big bite mark on its side, as if maybe a cat’s picked it up- but not fatally, if he gets this right. He hesitates. Looks at his watch. He’s got a good track record at school, and if it’s to save a life, being late this once can’t hurt. 

The detention he receives is worth it for the strangely happy look on the snake’s tiny face when he wraps a bandage round its middle and places it on his desk. 

\---

It takes him a moment to understand what he’s seeing.

His floor is a  _mess._ The carpet’s barely visible through straw and shredded paper, and what he  _can_ see of it seems, for a bizarre and disconcerting second, to have turned white. He blinks. The smell hits him, and his face drains of colour as if someone pulled a plug.

The man sitting on his bed lets out a laugh, and tosses something wet and red towards him. 

"Mm, thanks for looking after me. I trust you’ll continue to do so. Pets are a  _lifelong_  responsibility, after all…”

More than anything- more than the grief tearing at his heart, more than the shock that there’s an actual, human  _person_ sitting where he knows he left a snake, even more than the stench, the horrible _squelch_ when he moves his foot, all of it too overpoweringly awful to be part of a dream- he feels ashamed.

After all his research, he forgot that snakes eat rabbits. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "harushin, highschool sweethearts"

Putting a name on it is… hard. They can’t call themselves ‘boyfriends’- Shintaro thinks it sounds stupid, and Haruka’s embarrassed, though when their fingers brush under the desk one lunchtime, ‘boyfriend’ is the word that pops into both their heads. And they can’t call themselves ‘lovers’- they’d both cracked up at the suggestion, despite the tenderness in the kiss they shared after school that day, and the way Shintaro’s dull eyes lit, for once, with feeling. 

'Partners' is wrong, too. For Haruka, with his wandering brain, it brings to mind buddy cops and cowboys. Drawing them as such was fun, and he had, for the days they'd tried it. It hadn't stuck long, though. They'd tried watching a Western (Shintaro's head in Haruka's lap, daring him to say anything, glaring at the screen), and after that neither of them used the word again.

'Friends', though, isn't right  _enough._ It’s truth. Of course it is. They’re friends in that they sit together every break, friends in that they share lunches, stories, homework. They don’t  _always_ hold hands beneath the table. Yet somehow, the way the word ‘friend’ slips between lips so easily doesn’t quite fit. ‘Friend’ is too broad- it can’t be gasped out and caught again with uneven breaths, it can’t worm its way from one pulse to another through layers of skin and clothing. They’re friends, but not quite. Not just.

In the end, they settle on touch, on sound, the shifting specks of colour in each other’s eyes. They’re described by the bruises on Shintaro’s neck and the way he’ll offer to buy Haruka ice cream once a week. Their language is murmured and hesitant and soft, so soft, in quiet corridors and on the walk home.

(When they’re together, Shintaro finds pleasure in the act of breathing, and Haruka isn’t quite so afraid of his heart.)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> drabble for the prompt "i'm so sorry"

Shintaro’s eyes look duller, nowadays. He only notices because Takane tells him- a quiet, worried murmur, a frown on her face that makes her look twice her age. They were never bright to begin with, after all, and the boy keeps his head low enough that the shadows of his expression can, usually, be easily pinned on the light. **  
**

Once he’s noticed it, he can’t stop looking. There’s something about Shintaro’s slouch that brings him aching familiarity, a sort of deja vu in the way his body moves, how his head tilts back just so to let out that quiet laugh. His smile is far less bitter now than it once was, but its corners don’t reach quite so high, and there’s a fragility, now, in the shape of his neck.

He doesn’t understand, at first; everyone is back together, years spent grieving in the dark rendered laughable and meaningless by their final, mutual wish. Yet even in the sun, the boy looks several shades too pale. His eyes never stop flicking to the side, and his hands remain buried in his pockets, nervously twisting the fabric. He still wears long sleeves on the hottest of days.

He starts to notice patterns. Stop signs, vending machines, rice cookers, mayonnaise. Even Haruka’s precious dinosaur figures seem to make those shadows just a little darker. He mentions these things to Takane one day- her head on his stomach, both of them messily half-dressed with only the sounds of Takane’s Pokemon game to interrupt their breathing.

To his utter surprise, she actually stops her game to look at him, and her eyes are round.

It dawns on him then what those patterns add up to.

_Konoha._

Haruka’s happy ending becomes tainted with guilt. Every time he runs his hands through his girlfriend’s hair, he’s forced to wonder if Konoha ever used these hands to touch Shintaro so tenderly. He can’t quite remember how Konoha talked, or how he used his hands, but every time he catches Shintaro’s eye in conversation he wonders if he’s doing things wrong, if he’s acting too much or not enough like the boy he was that summer. He starts listening in on his own thoughts, trying to pick out the pieces that might be dregs of who he was, but all he ever catches is white noise swaddled in uncertainty.

How can he have forgotten so much already?

Confronting him about it isn’t easy. What do you say to someone that your body knows better than your memory, whose voice tinkles in your ears like a stream moving too fast to follow? He can’t apologise for his life, for claiming back what death and summer stole from him. He’s not ready to even contemplate that he might have moved on and left Konoha here. That would have meant leaving Takane as Shintaro is now- and, though Haruka cares about them both, there’s a selfish part of him that recoils from the thought. No. He has his happiness at last, and he can’t bring himself to regret it. Yet, neither can he apologise on Konoha’s behalf. He knows the words he could say, knows the soft, familiar tone he could speak them in, but he also knows that doing so might finally, truly break Shintaro’s heart.

As it turns out, he doesn’t have to use words. Shintaro corners him at the Dan’s hideout, and Haruka knows almost immediately what he wants from him. He tries to say something, tries to make some unneeded comment about closure and uncertainty- but Shintaro cuts him off with his lips, mumbling something incomprehensible. Haruka thinks it might have tailed off in a sob.

Strangely, although Haruka half wants to resist him, he finds that his body moves alone, in slow motion, as if he were watching it through a fogged lens. Their hands slot together as they fall back onto the couch, and something about it brings a lump to Haruka’s throat. Shintaro seems to feel it, too, because his face goes blank as he catches sight of them, shutting off any emotion that threatens to show. For a moment, Haruka feels a pang in his chest that reminds him all too vividly of his old body. He should tell Shintaro to stop; he should call Takane, tell her what’s happening, wrap Shintaro in a blanket and find another way to soothe him.

Then they’re kissing again,  soft and warm,  and the quiet gasps between them taste like salt water, soda and summer heat. The hands on his back, tugging at his clothing, are far too fragile. Haruka pulls them closer, trying to squeeze the colour back into them- and he wonders vaguely if this is how Shintaro felt back then, sitting by his side in that little hospital ward from so long ago.

Once more, Haruka apologises for his selfishness to an unfamiliar ceiling, while the lonely boy, the rotten boy, waits in solitude for an impossible reunion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks lis


End file.
